User talk:Ferntail14
Fern, Dapple, Red, Vex, come here, if you want to, then we can talk to each other <3 Or, once you come on the wiki(s) I'll give you the link to join.me ;3 ~Noccy, who loves Fernie, Dapplie, Reddie, and Vexie <3 Fern, why is it that you arestill so upset with me? I can see it in how short you are with me. Do not think you are discouraging me from my ambitions. I will have what is mine, but I will earn it. I just want my clan back, but I will earn it. I wish to have a conversation, there are things that need to be assessed. Whitestar 01:27, April 17, 2015 (UTC) Okay. I never come onto this wiki anymore, so I would like it if this was discussed on the other Wiki. But I will respond. I am not upset with you, I am just very stressed out right now with everything that is going on. I never even said I was trying to get you away from your ambitions. I would like it if you did not put words into my mouth. But that is not the point. You are already creating a new clan, just as you did with RiverClan.. ~Fern My heart will always be with Riverclan. I created Thunderclan as an idea, a way for other people like dark to experience deputyship and leadership. Also as a way for people to learn how to allow their cats to die. In fact, I don't plan on keeping Featherstar alive by the end of June. I just... I am sorry for what I put you through, and for how I left this place. I look through here, and I realize just how hated I was. I hurt because I want my clan back, but I couldn't be leader anymore as Whitestar. I knew what I was going to do long before I returned. The person I am now, is not the same person who guided White as a character. I am sorry, but I can't get this feeling to go away. I feel, deep down, that I have been cheated. I try to be part of other clans. I tried to be part of Shadowclan, but I just couldn't. I killed Skykit off. I tried to be part of Leafclan, but I couldn't. I made Featherstar leave and make Thunderclan. Even now, as I am Featherstar, all I want to do is kill her off asap. I have always come back to Riverclan. Riverclan is my creation. I feel so attatched to it. I don't want to beg, I'm not begging, but at the same time, I feel like I have to. I know it is pointless. I don't want it to be given to me, I want to earn it, but I know that even if I earn it, it will never be given to me. Even if the time comes for you to choose a new deputy, you wont choose me. In the back of your mind you will always remember me as Whitestar. I don't even know where I am going with this. As I said, I don't want to beg, I want to earn things. Of course I want it, but if it is just given to me I would feel bad. I don't want to be known as the guy who got his clan back because he complained and begged. Even as I write this, I am thinking about deleting it because even this seems like begging, but I don't even know what this is, to be honest. I know that in the current position of our wikia, any other person would choose me to be deputy, but for some reason I just feel like you have a great amount of loathing for me. I don't believe what you say, that you are stressed out and take it out on me. Not to judge, but you are only 13/14, there isn't much to be stressed about, except for family matters. Everytime I get a notification, and I see that you responded to something I said, I cringe a little because I know that the chances of you saying something full of contempt. I don't even know what I am saying anymore, I don't want it given to me, but I want it so much. I want to go back in time, change what happened so badly it hurts. I want to stop myself from ever leaving, so I could have been part of everything that happened. I feel so confident when I look around at the other members, and the inactivity of the current deputy. Everyone else in the clan is either inactive or already in the position of deputy or leader. But then I remember who has the choice to make, and all of it goes away and is replaced with hopelessness. I don't know what this is......Whitestar 03:15, April 17, 2015 (UTC)